Caution : What you could come across in the process.
Insignificant references to my life, an abstract and distracted thought sequel, monotony, inconsistency, vague vague perception, whorish intellectualism, feminist bullshit, armchair activism, causes I try to relate to, sharp sarcasm, even sharper criticism, frivolous details.
Nonetheless Happy Reading.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
A pale tiny thing.
The writer's view is dynamic,profound and the least sensitive of all.He sits on a broken leather chair and his words have the power to mend and break us (fragile beings).
A shameless critique.
Just got back from Calcutta.I must say I kind of fell in love with the city the minute I stepped out of the airport.I could describe the city as necessarily Indian,from men who spat out paan regularly after every five minutes to those who would squat on the streets without a care in the world.Street urchins and traffic jams..the perfect disastrous mix.I loved the sunsets though,they were exceptionally beautiful.Hence I could conclude that I wasn't really distraught and the ravishingly delicious fish tikka and mishti doi made me forget about my miserably failed and non existent love affairs..here i derive tremendous courage to deal with weddings.I would have gone from being a pro academically oriented nerd to a pro die hard feminist, but really these don't fit into me.Vulnerability has its own clauses.
When I came back I couldn't get a hold on my fresh number 6 smooth haired paintbrush.A chill in the air i assumed.It takes a lot to realize what you have lost and at the same time you are quick enough to assimilate the gathered stuff.Compromise is bliss isn't it? I know D lied to me when she said that my feminist charcoal versions of vague surrealist artwork were better than the ones she saw at the gallery.I could assume a shrivelled up position in the corner of a fabulous room like that..barely noticeable,unkind and unpalatable.I just remembered..the man sitting next to me on the flight back home was shaking uncontrollably.Parkinson's I thought,poor wretched soul.
What's worse than not having control over your hands?
not having control over your thoughts I presume.
I thought the flu would dismantle my 'stay awake and write despite being teary eyed' capacity,but it didn't.
Stand up straighter for your rights someone once told me.For once stop peeking through the hole and try standing on a nice pile of mega sized bricks to get a clear and breathless view of what you you really want to see.
Ever notice the wind blowing across your face? At first you are a bit cautious that it might mess up your hair so you roll up the windows a bit.But once you love the feel of it you really don't care if it blows your face apart or the hair over your head.That is the power of "wind"
Likewise have you ever tried basking in the soft winter sunlight? Nevermind.Just asking.
I was just thinking....
What if I become one of those - the one who meets a hundred people every freaking day..all smiles and all laughter and goes home alone,an unfortunate tear dripping off her pale frozen cheek?
Something is better than nothing I keep telling myself again and again until I am finally ready to believe it myself.
We are told to be wise,dress down,not drink and not talk about sex.So we are told.
The umbilical cord that attaches you to the society is inseparable.You would die here precisely at this point in the exactly similar frame of mind.
Absolute freedom does not exist.
2.15 am and the flu has got the better of me.
happy new year folks.